You Can’t Take My Braids From Me!

The increasing homogenization of the classes in the WotLK beta has me a bit worried.  What if we haven’t even seen the half of it yet?  What if morons are putting in-game ticket reports RIGHT NOW asking for more ridiculous changes in the name of “game balance?”  And what if Blizzard is listening?

The homogenization has to stop now.  There are serious things at stake.

Like my braids.

Dwarves are the only race that have a significant hair-animation while casting spells, and only with one specific female dwarf priest hair model (the one with the braids).  I call this animation the “dwarven braid-flail.”

The dwarven braid-flail is a proud treasure of the dwarven people, surely the envy of other casters, and the sole reason I rolled a dwarf priest in the first place.

Braids are serious business.

Who could resist a good dwarven braid-flail?  Admit: you are powerless to it. It hypnotizes you.

Want to give other classes our mana regen buff? Fine.
Want to give all priests the same racials? Fine.
Want to give other classes a better spellpower buff? Fine.
Want to give others our utility without buffing our damage? Fine.
Want other healers to be as strong and as flexible as us? Fine.
Want to give other casters my braids?  HELL. NO.

I have to draw the line somewhere, and this is where I choose to stand.  Please, leave me this one defining ounce of flavor in my character.

On the off-chance you work for Blizzard, here is a song I wrote modified about my braids (in hopes that I get it stuck in your head, brainwashing you to my point of view! Mwahahahaha!):

The Ballad of Serenity [Dwarf Braids]
lyrics by Joss Whedon [adapted by MK the dwarfpriest]

Take my love
Take my land
Take me where I cannot stand
I don’t care
I’m still free
You can’t take the sky [my braids] from me

Take me out
To the black
Tell ’em I ain’t coming back
Burn the land
And boil the sea
You can’t take the sky [my braids] from me

Have no place
I can be
Since I found serenity
But you can’t take the sky [my braids] from me

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7 Responses

  1. NO KIDDING.

    There’s a lot to be proud of as a dwarf, but it’s just frustrating to see other races getting their hands on what makes our race so unique. One can’t be a dainty elf princess and yet want the same things that make us fine women downright charming. They all have access to three different types of dwarven ram mounts in the game (Alterac Valley, Brewfest, and the regular one). Leave us be!

    What races are getting the twirly braids, by the way? I was underwhelmed by the alternative hairstyles offered to the dwarven ladies. It seemed like we were getting the butch haircuts that nobody else wanted. What? NO! As we’d say, “get bent.” :p

  2. No one has our braids. Not yet, anyways….

  3. Twirly braids for life!!

  4. The braids scare me a little. They really do.

    … but you female dwarves need something to incite fear in your enemies (and allies). Your cute little faces and round little bodies sure don’t do it. ;)

    Yay for little dwarven friends,
    ~Rhoe

  5. Every dwarf I’ve ever made has the braids. My bank alt is a dwarf priest just so I can stand in Ironforge and heal people while I watch the braids fly.

    Boredom has also caused me to create this awful ytmnd: http://botb.ytmnd.com/

  6. Amen, sister. The braids are the number one reason I will never choose to show helm no matter how kick-ass the helm might look. If it interferes with my braids, forget it!

  7. @Awlbiste – That is so full of win!

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